I woke up this morning to the news that another voice of my youth, Chris Cornell, had been silenced. He was 52 years old with no apparent health problems and in the middle of a successful Soundgarden tour. He was to play a concert here in Denver next week. As the day progressed, it was revealed that his death was a suicide.
Sadly, like many others, suicide has touched my life several times. A high school friend killed himself the fall of our junior year. A fifteen-year-old runaway I met during my college years took his life not long after returning home. A vibrant young man who was a much-loved counselor for my daughters at adoption camp was found dead in a park, an apparent suicide. Most recently, my young neighbor committed suicide just before Christmas last year. Each of the needless deaths and many others have taken a piece of my heart with them.
We NEED to talk about suicide in our society. There is a definite stigma in our society surrounding suicide and mental health in general. Some of us can’t even speak the word. We fear that talking about suicide will increase the chance that an individual will commit suicide. Research shows that this is not the case, and in fact talking about suicide decreases the risk. It is so important that the topic of suicide is brought out into the open and those who are battling suicidal thoughts know that they are NOT alone.
In conversations I’ve had through the years, I’ve met many people who’ve had suicidal thoughts or made suicide attempts. It is not an uncommon feeling. I’ve battled suicidal thoughts in my own life and have distinct memories of sitting on the dirty kitchen floor in my cheap college apartment, heartbroken and staring at my wrist with a knife in my hand. Thankfully, I did not follow through with the attempt. For me, the understanding of the pain my death would cause family and friends as well as a growing recognition that life is a constant cycle of good times and bad has been the key to living even on my darkest days.
I ask of each of you, be you a friend or simply someone who has stumbled on my blog, please take suicide seriously. If you think someone is contemplating suicide, ask! Listen with compassion and without judgment. Tell them how much you care about them and encourage them to seek help. Give them hope and help them FIND help! Suicide should not be a secret… If you are hurting or considering suicide, PLEASE REACH OUT! Even if you think you have no one, know that people care. I care. Your life is worth fighting for! Someone is always listening…
Suicides are heartbreaking. Because of my history of depression I can I imagine the depth of emotional pain and alienation that could lead to suicide. I have enjoyed being a mom and look to the future of possible grandchildren and I could not ever leave her or my friends and family intentionally. But some people can start feeling as though their loved ones would be better without them. I want to be aware and attentive to those around me who are showing signs that they may be contemplating suicide and talk openly with them, suspending judgement and acting with discernment in what I say and do to help them choose life. Sometimes, we do not see it coming, or we want to turn away from their pain and our discomfort. I don’t want to be oblivious or distance myself from someone who needs my life preserver.